Purposive Rambling

the journey is the reward.

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Maybe now?

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So yesterday I was starting to feel a bit better. And then this morning I woke up with a massive neck- and headache. I took some medicine and went back to bed for awhile. Then I laid around on the couch for awhile. And then I took a nap. And now I think I’m finally starting to come out of it. I still feel ridiculously tired, though. So I’ve lost another day to this flu. I’ve gotten another day behind in my work. And I missed my mini-marathon. It was today. And it was gorgeous outside. Perfect weather for a long run. And since the route goes right by our apartment, I could hear people cheering on the runners as they zoomed by. I felt so pathetic just sitting inside. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have made it one mile today, though. Gah. Stupid stupid flu.

Okay. I’m done complaining. Moving on. Feeling better. Finding my energy. Buckling down. Working. Working. Working. Working some more.

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Written by Lisa

November 7, 2009 at 11:17 pm

A Vacation I Didn’t Ask For

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Tuesday evening I noticed a tightness in my chest, and I found myself coughing a bit. I told Jon that I thought I was coming down with something. By the middle of the night I was shivering with fever, and by the morning I was vomiting. I have been absolutely miserable for the last three days. I can’t even remember the last time I was this ill. And I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten so sick so fast. It just came out of nowhere. I am finally done with the fever, and now I’m just dealing with some lingering body aches and plenty of sniffles and sneezes. Jon’s been a good nurse – feeding me chicken noodle soup and Gatorade and Sudafed. I’m crossing my fingers I haven’t passed anything onto him. Now that I’m starting to feel better, I suppose it’s time to start catching up. I feel so behind after taking these days off to rest. I don’t even know where to start really. Stupid flu.

Written by Lisa

November 6, 2009 at 7:40 pm

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Get consent!

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These new sexual assault prevention tips from Feminist Law Professors are making the rounds in my Facebook network today. I was just about to hit the Like button, but I think there’s something missing. Here are the tips that are “guaranteed to work”:

  1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
  2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
  3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
  4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
  5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
  6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
  7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
  8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
  9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
  10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

On the one hand, this is a definite step in the right direction. We tend to place blame on victims of sexual assault, and this really flips that on its head and places the blame where it belongs. So big thumbs up there.

What rubs me the wrong way about this list, though, is that it really seems to take as a given that perpetrators of sexual assault go out into the world with the intent of assaulting someone. I do not mean to suggest that that is never the case. I believe that people purposefully prey on others. But we know now that “acquaintance rapes” are much more common than “stranger rapes.” And often the context surrounding acquaintance rapes suggests that there is no premeditation. We often hear about “he said/she said” cases in which the person accused of assault does not even realize that what he (not always, of course) did was rape.

This list sends the message that people who rape are bad, scary, predators who are lurking around every corner waiting for the perfect opportunity to carry out their plans. As such, it shifts the discussion away from this more common type of assault.

I wholeheartedly believe that the key to preventing many acquaintance rapes is education about consent. No means no. It never means yes. Only yes means yes. And you should wait for a yes. Don’t make assumptions.

Again, this list is taking us in the right direction, but it’s missing at least one tip – Get consent!

Written by Lisa

October 9, 2009 at 2:38 pm

Happy News

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Although we were lucky enough to recover from the flood in March of this year, the rest of Franklin, Indiana is just now seeing some relief. The FEMA money that will allow the city to buy flood-damaged houses has finally materialized. Yay Franklin!

Written by Lisa

September 29, 2009 at 1:51 am

Mexican Forks

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I’ve told you before that Adobo Grill is good stuff. But we found out recently that it’s super-good stuff. They serve dollar tacos and half-price margaritas on Thursdays. The margarita special goes all night, but the tacos are only from 4-6pm. So we decided to check it out today when Jon got off work. It was all very tasty – especially for a grand total of $13 (one margarita, one diet, chips and salsa, and six tacos). But…there’s always a but, right?

I have a couple of complaints.

First of all, you have to sit at the bar or in the upstairs lounge. Not a big deal. I understand it. But perhaps you could tell us that when we come in instead of showing us to a table and then waiting until we ask about the taco special to tell us we have to move if we want to take advantage of it. Were we supposed to just know that somehow?

Second, we’re so cheap we don’t even get silverware?! You came up with the special. We’re just taking advantage of it. If you don’t want people to order dollar tacos, don’t offer them! We had our drinks, we had our chips and salsa, and we had no napkins or silverware. I figured they just forgot and would bring them with the tacos. The tacos came. No silverware. No napkins. He comes back to check on us, and we ask for forks and napkins. We get napkins. No forks. Come on people! These tacos are filled nicely, so we’re obviously going to lose a bit to the plate. We improvised with chips. Jon called them “Mexican forks.”

I was pretty annoyed. There are certain basic things you expect when you go out to eat, and silverware is one of them.

However, we’ll probably go back. It was all really yummy. I think we’ll just be a bit more insistent about the silverware.

Written by Lisa

September 10, 2009 at 10:42 pm

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Restlessness

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Lately, I’ve been feeling very restless and a bit bored with life. Or, the everyday stuff of life. I am happy with Jon. I am happy with Sociology. I am happy with Indianapolis. I am even happy with reading for my qualifying exam! But when I’m laying down in bed each night and reflecting on the day, I feel bothered. With myself mostly. A lot of times I feel like I just half-assed everything.

Me to myself:

I didn’t work that hard. I read some, but I got distracted a lot too. I spent way too much time checking my email, reading the news, being a voyeur into people’s lives on Facebook, laughing out loud at adorable cats, and so on. Along with this half-assed work, I had some half-assed play time. I sat on the couch watching crap tv that doesn’t really add anything to my life. What a waste of time.

I want/need to do more. To be more. I want to feel like everyday is fulfilling and worthwhile. Sure, sometimes I just need to veg on the couch, but not every day. I want to be someone who works hard and plays hard instead of having a casual, uncommitted approach to both. That is getting me nowhere.

So yesterday I started on the hard-working part. Our Internet was down, and although I complained a lot about it, it was a blessing. I put my head down and read for my qualifying exam all day. I took a break for lunch, I took a break for dinner, and then I ended the day with enough time to watch a couple shows with Jon and read a couple chapters of Alex and Me, which is great so far, by the way. It was the most productive day I have had in quite awhile. And even though I was a bit antsy because I hadn’t been able to check my email, it was really nice to not have the distraction of the Internet. The trick now is to find the self-discipline to either ignore it or shut it down and give myself the big blocks of time that I need to get real work done on a consistent basis.

And as for the play side of things, Jon and I have agreed that we need to get off the couch more and stop treating tv like a hobby.

Written by Lisa

September 9, 2009 at 10:15 pm

President Obama’s been holding out on us.

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Apparently, he has a trick up his sleeve with this healthcare reform – a new part of the plan that has yet to be announced. I got to experience it first-hand, and I thought I’d let you in on it. Let me explain.

By all objective measures, I should have woken up feeling pretty crappy today. Yesterday was a really long day. By the time I was heading to bed – which was a little late compared to my normal bed time – I was feeling head- and neck-achy. While trying to fall asleep I started thinking about all the things that I need to accomplish this semester, and I started feeling really stressed out. I fluffed my pillow and put on my eye mask, but I was pretty sure I was going to wake up feeling like I needed more sleep and potentially having a killer headache. That’s usually what happens when all of these factors collide.

But instead, I woke up feeling great and ready to tackle the day. And I have President Obama to thank.

He visited me in my sleep! In my dreams, of course. But that was enough. In my dream, not entirely unlike real life, I had a crush on Obama (maybe not quite as big as Obama Girl’s crush). And I was not shy about it at all. At the beginning of the dream I was sitting on some bleachers with a bunch of other people watching him run around a track. I decided that I wanted to get an autograph, and luckily there were no secret-service agents in my dream. So I ran down and got his attention and held out the bottom of my shirt for him to sign.

Apparently, my dream version of Obama was a huge flirt! I’m pretty sure even my dream-self didn’t really think that Obama was actually into me – it wasn’t that kind of dream. But I was happy enough to have him pretend for a little while. Like the class act that he is, instead of just signing the bottom of my shirt, he wrote all over it – mostly the chest area. (By the way, I do find it a bit disturbing that my dream about interacting with the President is of him acting like a 13 year old boy, in case you were wondering.)

Anyway, the dream continued for awhile longer, but I can’t remember many details. We hung out a bit at my house, we chatted, we laughed. I think Jon may have been around somewhere in the background – a bit like Doug in the Flight of the Conchords tv series. And then I woke up feeling happy and refreshed!

To be fair, I doubt this new approach to healthcare will cure any real illnesses, but I think Obama’s really onto something when it comes to giving people a little pick-me-up. 😉

Written by Lisa

September 3, 2009 at 12:55 pm