Maybe now?

So yesterday I was starting to feel a bit better. And then this morning I woke up with a massive neck- and headache. I took some medicine and went back to bed for awhile. Then I laid around on the couch for awhile. And then I took a nap. And now I think I’m finally starting to come out of it. I still feel ridiculously tired, though. So I’ve lost another day to this flu. I’ve gotten another day behind in my work. And I missed my mini-marathon. It was today. And it was gorgeous outside. Perfect weather for a long run. And since the route goes right by our apartment, I could hear people cheering on the runners as they zoomed by. I felt so pathetic just sitting inside. I’m pretty sure I couldn’t have made it one mile today, though. Gah. Stupid stupid flu.

Okay. I’m done complaining. Moving on. Feeling better. Finding my energy. Buckling down. Working. Working. Working. Working some more.

A Vacation I Didn’t Ask For

Tuesday evening I noticed a tightness in my chest, and I found myself coughing a bit. I told Jon that I thought I was coming down with something. By the middle of the night I was shivering with fever, and by the morning I was vomiting. I have been absolutely miserable for the last three days. I can’t even remember the last time I was this ill. And I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten so sick so fast. It just came out of nowhere. I am finally done with the fever, and now I’m just dealing with some lingering body aches and plenty of sniffles and sneezes. Jon’s been a good nurse – feeding me chicken noodle soup and Gatorade and Sudafed. I’m crossing my fingers I haven’t passed anything onto him. Now that I’m starting to feel better, I suppose it’s time to start catching up. I feel so behind after taking these days off to rest. I don’t even know where to start really. Stupid flu.

Costume

 

Crazy Cat Lady

 

 

Jack-o-Lanterns

 

This is our 7th year carving together! Mine is on the left.

 

 

Trip to St. Louis

 

Go Colts!

 

 

Mom’s Birthday Lunch

 

Me with my mom, sister, and niece

 

 

Date Night

Just two days ago I swore off blogging until I am done with my qualifying exam. But, here I am. I couldn’t resist telling you about the wonderful time I had last night. We went to the Eagle’s Nest. It’s a restaurant on top of the Hyatt in downtown Indianapolis. And it spins! We’ve wanted to check it out for awhile, but a) we heard the food wasn’t that great, and b) it’s expensive. Early in the week we decided we were overdue for a real date, though, and since we’ve tried just about everything else – not in the whole city, of course, but in our little walkable area of the city – we opted for this place. And it was definitely expensive. But worth it. The food was fantastic! We went all out with a bottle of wine, a shrimp cocktail, steak for Jon and halibut for me, and then dessert drinks. Even better than the food was the view, though. Indy is gorgeous when it’s all lit up at night. The state house was especially beautiful. It was neat to have a changing view as the night progressed too. I think we made two full rotations before we headed home. The best part of the evening was spending time with Jon. Sometimes I forget how easy and interesting conversation is with him. We could have stayed there all night talking. I love that after all this time, I still can’t get enough of him.

So, I may or may not be back for awhile. I have to keep my head in the game, and to help me do that, I’m disconnecting a little bit. Blogging, Facebook, and TV are all getting shoved to the back of the cabinet for the rest of this semester.

Classroom Activity: Spaceship Exercise

This semester I am teaching a service-learning course called Community Problems and Outreach. We are focusing on three main topics – families in poverty, debates over marriage, and domestic abuse. My students are volunteering at communities that serve low-income families in the community. We spend part of our time in the classroom discussing academic material on these topics, and we spend part of our time discussing their volunteer experiences. Yesterday I devoted a good portion of class time to the service side of the course. To help the students become more aware of the assumptions, biases, and prejudices that they hold, which can affect their interactions with the people they are serving, we did a short group activity. Perhaps you’ve seen a version of it before. I adapted it from a version that I participated in at a recent domestic violence training for Family Service of Central Indiana.

—

Spaceship Exercise

The fate of the human race lies in your hands. NASA scientists have identified a meteor that is barreling toward the Earth. It will make impact in 60 minutes. There will be total devastation. We have time to prepare only one spaceship that can carry only 7 people off of the planet. They will be sent to colonize Zuno, a recently discovered Earth-like planet. You must choose these 7 people from the following list of 12 candidates. You have 15 minutes.

	Age	Gender	Sexual Orientation	Race/Ethnicity	Language	Occupation	Other Information
1	24	Male	Heterosexual	African American	English	Medical student
2	32	Female	Heterosexual	Caucasian	English and Spanish	Prostitute
3	28	Intersex	Bisexual	Caucasian/Jewish	English and Hebrew	Rabbi
4	28	Male	Heterosexual	Caucasian	English	Farmer	Has had a vasectomy
5	55	Female	Heterosexual	African American	English	Infectious disease medical researcher
6	6	Male		Asian American	English and Korean
7	19	Male	Homosexual	Native American	English	Professional athlete
8	26	Female	Heterosexual	Mexican American	Spanish	Homemaker	6 months pregnant
9	14	Female		African American	English		Born with leg deformities and needs a wheelchair
10	60	Male	Heterosexual	Caucasian	English	Retired CEO of major pharmaceutical company
11	40	Male	Heterosexual	Caucasian	English	Mechanic	Homeless
12	36	Female	Homosexual	Multiracial	English and German	Fourth grade teacher

—

So, who would you choose? Based on what criteria? What do your choices reflect about what you value in people? What do they reflect about your assumptions regarding the characteristics about these individuals?

Come on, baby. Everyone knows breastmilk is bad for you! Here, have some celery.

Don’t we call it “baby fat” for a reason?!

This story is just absolutely ridiculous.

A four-month old baby was denied coverage by an insurance company – Rocky Mountain Health Plans – for being too fat. He was 17 pounds and 25 inches tall, putting him in the 99th percentile for weight and height for babies his age. And? So what?!

There are plenty of chubby little babies that grow into slender children. It’s just unfathomable to me that anyone would see this as a problem. But apparently, 21% of people who voted in an online poll thought that it was fine for an insurance company to deny a baby coverage due to its weight.

Doctors and scientists agree that we should not restrict children’s fat intake until they are at least 2 years old. Some are even arguing that it is inappropriate to restrict fat intake until children are at least 5 years old.

So unless you have some evidence that weight is a symptom of some underlying preexisting condition, how can you deny this baby coverage? Of course, I would argue that it would still be bullshit to deny him or anyone else coverage, but I’m one of those people.

Btw, the overwhelmingly negative public reaction to this absurdity put enough pressure on Rocky Mountain to change its policy.

Get consent!

These new sexual assault prevention tips from Feminist Law Professors are making the rounds in my Facebook network today. I was just about to hit the Like button, but I think there’s something missing. Here are the tips that are “guaranteed to work”:

1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

On the one hand, this is a definite step in the right direction. We tend to place blame on victims of sexual assault, and this really flips that on its head and places the blame where it belongs. So big thumbs up there.

What rubs me the wrong way about this list, though, is that it really seems to take as a given that perpetrators of sexual assault go out into the world with the intent of assaulting someone. I do not mean to suggest that that is never the case. I believe that people purposefully prey on others. But we know now that “acquaintance rapes” are much more common than “stranger rapes.” And often the context surrounding acquaintance rapes suggests that there is no premeditation. We often hear about “he said/she said” cases in which the person accused of assault does not even realize that what he (not always, of course) did was rape.

This list sends the message that people who rape are bad, scary, predators who are lurking around every corner waiting for the perfect opportunity to carry out their plans. As such, it shifts the discussion away from this more common type of assault.

I wholeheartedly believe that the key to preventing many acquaintance rapes is education about consent. No means no. It never means yes. Only yes means yes. And you should wait for a yes. Don’t make assumptions.

Again, this list is taking us in the right direction, but it’s missing at least one tip – Get consent!